As a parent of adult children, I can personally observe
the effects of my parenting styles upon them through the years and how it's shaped who
and what they are today!
When my husband and I first
started out, we were very strict and not so very kind. My oldest son remembers the
harshness and says he actually wondered if we really loved him! He also remembers
watching us mellow through the years and rejoicing in the positive change it had on all
of us. He admits he prayed and prayed that we would be softer and kinder. It must have
worked because my middle and later children have the benefit of a very patient, kind,
and considerate father and mother.
I think we as parents
need to set the finest example of what we expect from our children. Children learn what
they live and will be a product of either a happy home or an unhappy one! And, they in
turn, will pass on what they learned to their children.
If
we want secure, loving, happy children we must provide that type of environment for
them. We must not dictate in a miltary, authoritarian fashion, but give them
reasonable, intelligent choices, and allow them to take responsibility for and
experience the results of those choices. We shouldn't hover over and around them to
prevent their making mistakes, but lovingly and willingly step back and let them make
mistakes, knowing they will learn valuable lessons along the
way.
I strongly recommend the "Love and Logic Approach to
Parenting." It's something I'm trying with my youngest son, who is about to turn
twelve. In just the few short months I've been using it, I've seen very positive
results. I no longer have the huge battles of will and arguments and everything is much
more peaceful! I've attached a link to the website so you can check it
out.
I love being a parent! It's by far the most difficult
task I've ever taken on but by far the most rewarding overall!
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