Do you feel that the mother and daughter had a close relationship? ."I Stand Here Ironing" by Tillie Olsen

Tillie Olsen's story begins with one
line:

I stand
her ironing, and what you asked me moves tormented back and forth with the
iron.

The mother's act of
ironing is a metaphor for the remembrances and contemplations of the mother about her
life, her daughter's life, and her relationship with her daughter.  She goes back and
forth over the past, trying to understand this relationship.  The mother is unable to
account for "all that life that has happened outside me, beyond me."  For this reason,
she cannot "total it all."

Certainly, however, there has
been much to interfere with the mother/daughter relationship's being a close one.  For
one thing, poverty has forced the mother to place Emily in nurseries "that are only
parking places for children" and for a time in an orphanage, a circumstance shared by
many parents during the Depression.  So, as the mother
reflects,

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"There is all that life that has happened outside
of me, beyond me."

In more
introspection, the mother notes that she did not smile enough at Emily even though she
performed acts of love: 

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"What was in my face when I looked at her? I
loved her.  There were all the acts of
love."

The mother feels
guilty about the time Emily had measles when she left her to go to the hospital to have
her daughter Susan, especially because Emily did not get well.  Now, when she has the
time, the mother asks Emily, "Can I get you something?"  But, Emily tells her
no.

When the mother did try to have Emily released from the
orphanage, it took eight months, and Emily was very thin.  When the mother tried to hold
her and love her, Emily's body would stay stiff, and after a while she would push away. 
And, although Emily's mother worries about her, Emily is distant. Yet, although they are
not close, the mother does understand Emily; in addition, she has confidence in her
daughter:  She will find her way even though the mother's wisdom has come too late and
she is too distant.

While there is an ambivalence in the
mother's assessment of her parenting skills, and there is a distance beween her and
Emily, there is also no question of the mother's love for her daughter.  In a great act
of love, the mother has faith in her daughter:

she
is more than this dress on the ironing board, helpless before the
iron.