Mr. Homer Fairbain is the deputy superintendant in charge
of instruction in the school district, but for a man with such a lofty position, he is
not very learned. Mr. Fairbain had been the master of ceremonies for the district
playoffs of the Academic Bowl the previous year, and had made quite a mess of things,
showing his ignorance by his inability to read the questions correctly, and embarrassing
the school district in the process. This year, since the competing team is from the
sixth grade instead of the eighth grade as expected, it is anticipated that the audience
for the event will be larger than usual. By letting Mr. Fairbain be the master of
ceremonies again, Dr. Rohmer is taking a chance that the district will again be
embarrassed by Mr. Fairbain's gaffes in front of even more observers than last
year.
Dr. Rohmer actually has little choice but to let Mr.
Fairbain do the job again, however, because it is "his one chance to show the community
that he (has) learned a thing or two." Mr. Fairbain is a good-hearted, humble man,
albeit inept, and he offers to consult some of the remedial reading teachers on staff to
help him read the questions correctly, but Dr. Rohmer reminds him that that might not be
appropriate, as he is technically their boss. In an attempt to avoid disaster, Dr.
Rohmer gives Mr. Fairbain a copy of the questions ahead of time, so he can practice and
prepare to read them without error. On the day of the event, Mr. Fairbain does quite
well at first, but then he mispronounces the name "Geronimo," and is corrected by Julian
Singh. Mr. Fairbain, good-natured as usual, admits his mistake, but then makes things
worse by asking Julian if he is an Indian himself; when Julian gives the qualified
answer that he is "in part what is called East Indian," Mr. Fairbain breaks an unspoken
rule about not commenting about a person's ethnicity in public by asking, "What is your
tribe?" Mr. Fairbain clearly does not understand the difference between East Indian and
American Indian ethnicity, and Dr. Rohmer is mortified. Mr. Fairbain, seeing Dr.
Rohmer's look, mercifully ceases his blundering repartee, and continues on with the
contest (Chapter 7).
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