Three words that could describe the relationship between
Jim and Della are "deep," "unselfish," and "reciprocal." The relationship between them
is deep; it is not based on trivial or inconsequential surface qualities like a crush or
infatuation would be. Della does not love Jim any less for having had his wages cut by
one third since she married him, and Jim does not love Della less when she cuts her
hair, although her hair was stunning. They love each other for the person underneath all
the outward trappings.
Their relationship is unselfish,
which is the point of the story. They love each other so much that each sacrifices the
possession most valuable to him or her in order to purchase a fine gift for the
other.
And their relationship is reciprocal; Della loves
Jim as much as he loves her, and vice versa. Their gift-giving shows the reciprocity of
their love as well as its unselfishness. Jim's watch is of equal worth to him as Della's
hair is to her, and each of them knows and values the appreciation the other one has for
his or her prize possession. So their choice of gifts is not actually surprising, but in
fact is the most predictable of outcomes given the complete reciprocity of their
love.
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